Just Some Random Saiyuki
by Anjolique
Summary: Sex with vanilla, surprises gone wrong, the boredom of smoking and much more. Oneshots of Saiyuki stories updated randomly. Enjoy.
1. Two Kinds of Fantasies

Two Kinds of Fantasies

Two Kinds of Fantasies

Sha Gojyo wasn't a simple man. He wasn't a good man. And he wasn't a caring man. These attributes only shone during certain moments of his life.

Children were treated passionately with this man. He'd be caring, sweet, sympathetic and helpful. He made them smile and giggle and the disease would spread to him, forcing him to beam like the sun.

He probably wanted them to have a happy childhood, unlike his. If it were happy in their own fantasy world of youth, then they'll be prepared to take control of this bitch called reality.

Once this revelation slaps you in the face, then he'll just leave you to figure out the rest yourself.

Oddly, Goku was a different case. He didn't want the fantasy world of goodness in his young years. See, he's a monkey and in order to make a monkey happy, Gojyo would have to be rough, rude and mean. Yes, it's weird but also understandable.

Goku just had this way of seeing through hypocrisy.

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Review please. Heart.


	2. Surprise! Right

**Just Some Random Saiyuki Thoughts**

_Surprise! Right…_

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki. Kazuya Minekura does. 

A/N: This takes place pro-journey.

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Today was a special day for Hakkai. He sat and read his book in his room. Alone. With a frown on his face.

He usually only celebrated this day with Kanan and the school children, but since she is obviously not here, today was going to be celebrated with his--I guess you could say-- friends. He never seen this day as important, he actually didn't really attempt to remind people. He wasn't selfish enough to take other people stuff so it wasn't a day he cared for.

His friends thought otherwise.

They were preparing the preparations for this day. They started three days before; they tried ever so hard to look natural however…it wasn't working.

Someone like Hakkai wasn't going to seriously fall for something like this. Come on, they were being sneaky with the whole thing, they even tip-toed and whispered…often. Always distracting him from a specific direction, opening a conversation or, for Goku's case, asking a million questions.

They'd, constantly, dragged him away from the kitchen and his bedroom in the house he and Gojyo shared. They even forced him to spend an entire day with Goku in his home with Sanzo. Sanzo and Gojyo were, supposedly, searching for a new brand of cigarettes to try. When they came back, supposedly, they didn't like the name and smell of the brands. When Hakkai asked what different aroma cigarettes had, they replied with, "If you are a smoker, you'll know the difference between the good ones and bad ones." Supposedly, only smokers could really tell.

Yeah they really searched. They searched so hard that when they came home they came back; Hakkai didn't smell different brands of cigarettes. No, not at all, he smelled the same ol' Hi-Lite on Gojyo, and the same ol' Marlboro on Sanzo. They could've at least put some effort into making their lie seem true.

Goku was acting more perky than usually, Gojyo was stuttering and into his own little world more than usually, and Sanzo actually became surprised and read the newspaper _less_ than usually.

All of the things stated above were just some _bad_ observations and did _not_ lead to one fact in Hakkai's mind.

They were going to throw him a surprise twentieth birthday party.

Nope, none of this led to the fact that his birthday was today and their unnatural behavior (which so wasn't obvious) didn't not lead to this date. Not at all. Nuh-uh. There was no way in hell they weren't suspicious and giving him a party.

Hakkai become a little angry as he continued reading his book in solitude with a frown on his face. Did they believe he was that naïve and foolish! This is the all mighty, all seeing and all knowing Hakkai. He just could not see what they were planning. Right! They suddenly believed that they were the smart ones and was able to read people clearly and bottle up their emotions and true motives. Hakkai's grip on the book hardened; his frown deepened.

A knocking on his door interrupted the internal tantrum. He loosened his grip on the book he wasn't even reading, just staring at the letters, and he placed a false smile upon his face. "Come in," he said in his normal voice. Here's where he begins to act naïve again.

"Hey Hakkai," Gojyo said as he opened the door, stepped into the room, closed the door quietly and walked over to Hakkai who was seated on his bed.

Hakkai placed his book flat on the tap that was beside his bed and gave Gojyo his full attention. Whatever is was must have been important since he shut the door quietly.

"I'll just get straight to the point. I'm assuming you already figured out that we were throwing you a party," Gojyo said. He definitely got straight to the point.

Hakkai continued to look at Gojyo.

Gojyo continued with his speech, "I'm also assuming you were fuming in your room since you had the book upside down."

Hakkai's brow rose. Not only did it rise for the fact that he felt like a dumb ass for having the book upside, making anyone know right away he wasn't reading the damn thing, but also for Gojyo being able to figure it out. Usually this was something he did.

"I just want you to know that it was that damn monkey that insisted on giving you a party. Sanzo and I pretty much knew you weren't going to fall for it. That damn monkey kept nagging and that damn fake priest had to go and spoil him."

Hakkai finally spoke since Gojyo began. "Why didn't you just explain that to him?" that seemed more like something those two adults would do to a child. Either that or beat him into his senses.

Gojyo lowered his head and he was smirking. He must have been remembering or just thinking about how to answer. "I just couldn't break his little heart. This is the first surprise birthday party Goku has ever experienced. You know he looks up to you as a parent. That stupid monkey couldn't help but want to throw you a party."

Hakkai smiled a little. He could already see little Goku jumping around like a monkey, begging for those two to let him do the party. The party may not really surprise him for real however; he didn't want to hurt Goku. This meant only one thing, "Gojyo, I'll pretend to be surprised for Goku's benefit."

Gojyo looked up and his smirk turned into a huge grin. No words were needed to be said to Gojyo so he could show how grateful he was. He stood and began to exit the room. He paused momentarily and said before exiting, "Next time you pretend to read, put the book right so it won't seem suspicious." With that said Gojyo quickly closed the door as Hakkai raised up his pillow.

Hakkai smiled a little. The things they did for Goku.

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An hour after Gojyo entered, Goku decides to make an entrance. He didn't knock though like Gojyo, but luckily Hakkai had his book right side up so it did seem like he was reading. In actuality, he was acting on his 'I'm not surprised but I'm acting like it' skills. He was pretty good at it to be honest.

"Hakkai!" screamed Goku as he jumped on to the bed. He sat on his knees in front of Hakkai and leaned forward. "C'mon! We need to go to the living room."

"What for?" his acting will have to begin now. Right, he really didn't know why to go to the living room.

"Just come!" Goku grabbed Hakkai's hand and pulled him along to the living room.

Hakkai was dragged into the dark living room. It was eight o'clock, the drapes were closed shut, no light was on and the house was creepily quite. Meaning Gojyo or Sanzo were near the lights, Goku was going to lead him to the center of the room and this is where he must act surprised. How much more cliché can you get?

He just keeps on letting Goku drag him into the room, the lights turn on, Goku yells surprise, Gojyo and Sanzo tries to act enthusiastic but it wasn't really working. So now the finally ingredient is for Hakkai to be 'surprised.' He did a pretty good job of it too. No one could tell he was faking.

"I'll go get the cake!" exclaimed Goku as he ran off into the kitchen. Gojyo and Sanzo both looked at him depart, and then turned their attention to Hakkai who had a small smile on his face.

Five minutes past and Goku still hadn't comeback. What could he possible be doing? Hakkai wondered. Gojyo was lying on top of the couch, grinning like a mad man; Sanzo was reading his newspaper smoking and Hakkai sat on one of the chairs getting worried more and more as time passed.

"I better go che--" Hakkai was interrupted as a moaning noise came from behind him.

"Goku!" Hakkai shouted as he went over to him. He was hunched over rubbing his stomach. He moaned and groaned as he leaned on Hakkai. "What happened?"

Goku continued rubbing his stomach as he sat on the floor. Sanzo looked curiously over and his direction and stood over Goku who was getting nursed by Hakkai. Gojyo leaned over the chair. His mad man grin suddenly got bigger.

"Gojyo?" Hakkai said his name in an interrogative way. That meant he wanted an explanation.

"He should learn not to take what isn't his. Or should I say _eat_ what isn't his?" Gojyo smiled even more.

"What did you put into that cake, Gojyo? Sanzo! The kappa is being mean to me! He poisoned the cake!" Goku stood and yelled at him, he crouched down again as the pain in his stomach returned.

Sanzo walked over to Gojyo and hit him in the head with his magically appearing fan.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" Gojyo bawled.

"What the fuck did you do to him?" Sanzo aid. He glared too.

"Nothing. It's what he did to himself," Gojyo stated in defense.

Sanzo hit him again with his magical fan. "Fine what was in that damn cake that made his stomach fuck up like that?"

"Oh my stomach hurts Hakkai!" whines Goku.

"Oh dear. What's wrong with it?" Hakkai asked.

"It feels like I need to go to the bathroom but it won't come out!" Goku clutched his stomach again.

Go to the bathroom but won't come out? Then that meant it must be…

"Gojyo!" Hakkai looked at him and saw him snickering. How could he!

"I knew he would eat your cake. So I bought two and put that stuff in one of them. Your good cake is in a shelf that monkey can't reach to eat," explained Gojyo.

"But prunes!"

"Tch. He'll poop them out."

Goku later sat on the toilet for two hours, Gojyo got shot and hit with a fan by Sanzo and Hakkai peacefully enjoyed his cake.

He smiled as he looked at his piece of cake. He actually was surprised by those guys. He enjoyed a birthday without Kanan. That was something he really didn't expect.

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Read and review with love. :D


	3. Quit

Just Some Random Saiyuki

**Just Some Random Saiyuki**

_Quit_

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki

Gojyo sat down on the bed on the inn. It was raining, meaning Hakkai and Sanzo weren't in a good mood. All four of them were sharing a room, dejectedly. Sanzo was in his typical routine by reading a newspaper and smoking a cig. Hakkai was seated by the window drinking tea and petting Hakuryu. Goku was snacking on dumplings at the table in the room. Gojyo sat and smoke. Exactly when did Gojyo start smoking was at a young age; his motives for it weren't all that complicated.

Smoking was his unshed tears.

The ashes were his burnt hatred. The burnt hatred for his hair and eyes, even a little for his mother.

The bud of the cigarette was his mother burning heart. Burning heart of anger. Mother may not have hated Gojyo, she fed him, clothed him and still kept him in her home, but she definitely didn't like him. When she came across his face she became angry. She burnt with rage, like the bud of his cigarettes and then burnt to ashes.

The ashes were his dried tears. The tears that wanted to be released at a young age, they just were incapable of freeing themselves.

Gojyo stopped smoking for a second. Now that he thought about it, didn't he already cry on his way to Kami-sama? Weren't his tears already freed?

So why the fuck was he still smoking?

Gojyo looked down at his cig in distaste. He took it out of his mouth and grabbed a new pack of his favorite brand: Hi-Lite. He strolled over to the trash can and dumped them. He accomplished an impossible task without hesitation. During this whole accomplishment, the whole Sanzo-ikkou was watching and had their mouths hanging.

They were stuck within the element of surprise.

Gojyo strolled back over to the bed, looked at them staring and asked, "Can't a guy quit smoking?"

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This thought came into my mind as I thought about how people always say Gojyo cigs were his tears. So, I actually really thought, "Why the fuck was he still smoking?" I solved the problem. Read and review, please.


	4. Not So Droopy Anymore

Just Some Random Saiyuki Thoughts

**Just Some Random Saiyuki Thoughts**

_Not So Droopy Anymore_

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Saiyuki characters.

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The Sanzo-ikkou sat in Jeep as they drove through the desert. Today was like any other normal day. If anyone know what a normal day for the Sanzo-ikkou is like, then it isn't really necessary to tell. If you don't, just know it's a little crazy.

So anyway, they were driving in the desert, and it was temporarily quite since Sanzo silenced the arguing Goku and Gojyo with a threat and a shot of his gun.

They finally arrived at an inn. Upon doing so, they quickly unloaded their belongings and headed into the inn. Sanzo and Hakkai went to the counter and got the keys to their rooms, Gojyo was hitting on one of the waitress and Goku was drooling as he stared in delight at the other customers' food.

Sanzo glared in their direction as Hakkai said, "Now, now."

"We're coming Sanzo, don't get so worked up," Gojyo mockingly said as he grabbed Goku and strolled to Sanzo and Hakkai.

They continued walking down the hall in silence until Gojyo spoke once again. "I'm guessing you guys are pairing me up with the monkey again?"

"What! I'm not sharing with you! Tell him it's not true, Sanzo!" Goku cried loudly as he looked despairingly at the priest.

Sanzo just kept on walking through the hall. Yes, this was a mighty long hall since their rooms were at the end so it'll be a while until they arrive.

"That means yes monkey," Gojyo said.

"Ugh!" Goku moaned in agony.

"Keh! Shut up and deal with it," Sanzo said with annoyance.

"Now, now," Hakkai calming and motherly… fatherly… _parent like_ voice seemed to ease the tension that was growing at that moment.

With that said, sort of for Sanzo, they all departed to their rooms.

Less than an hour went by the Sanzo-ikkou were doing their normal things when they were sharing rooms like this. Goku had food stacked on a plate, Hakkai was reading a book, Sanzo was reading the paper while smoking and Gojyo was attempting to snatch food Goku brought for himself.

"Gojyo, I've been wondering something…" Goku trailed off.

"Huh? Have you been wondering about sex? Perhaps a certain girl? Or is it smoking? No wait, I know! You want to know if all of that eating have made you look fat!" Gojyo said.

"Shut up you damn cockroach! That isn't what I'm asking because, unlike you, I have a since of maturity and don't think of sex, women and smoking all day! So are you going to listen or not?" Goku practically shouted at Gojyo.

"I'm listening you damn prick," Gojyo growled as he faced Goku to show he really was listening to Goku.

"Well you know how Sanzo's eyes seem to be droopy, right?" questioned Goku.

"Yeah…. What are you getting at?" Gojyo became curious. Who couldn't see the droopy, boring eyes of Sanzo? That was the thing most people noticed and they assumed he was a girl. His purple and droopy eyes were unique and rare so those were the qualities Sanzo was recognized by, and was also stared at for it too.

"What would he look like if they weren't droopy? Like if they were small and girly looking like yours, Gojyo, or big like mines. Even an understanding way like Hakkai's."

Now that Gojyo thought about it. What would Sanzo look like?

"I don't know," Gojyo shrugged his shoulders.

"I knew there wasn't a point in asking someone as stupid as you," Goku rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"Tch…" Gojyo paused then smirked as a thought entered his mind.

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Sanzo frown sank lower as he heard more giggling coming from the room beside him. The one containing Gojyo and Goku.

They shuffling sounds coming from the room stopped. Then they began again along with giggling. Then stopped. Then they yelled. Then they shuffled while yelling. Even little scratching noise and a clanking of a small object could be heard.

Sanzo rose up from his chair to go and beat them up when Hakkai already left the door saying, "I'll go quiet them down."

Sanzo sat back on his chair with a frown and glare plastered on his face. Until he stopped hearing all of the noise, he wasn't going to be in a good mood.

In mere seconds, the room was quiet again. Sanzo relaxed and was grateful to Hakkai, of course he wasn't going to say something like that to him. Sanzo lifted his newspaper up to finish enjoying it in silence, when he heard Hakkai laugh! More like he was struggling against a laugh so it turned more into a chuckle. The point is, Hakkai's suppose to make them shut up, not laugh (or chuckle or struggling to hold in a laugh) along with them!

Sanzo this time rose from his chair secured his gun and headed off into the room of the idiotic occupants.

As he entered, he saw papers thrown carelessly around the room, crayons were scattered across the floor, some of the papers had deformed looking drawings on them.

Sanzo walking towards Goku, Hakkai and Gojyo direction; he heard things like 'his are small, not big at all' and 'how do you know? Have you seen it?' and a reply as 'A few times. When I did see them, they were small!'

Sanzo walked behind the three who were seated on the floor and looking down, thus never noticing Sanzo behind them…glaring… and a gun in his right hand… a fan in the left… and his foot raised to Goku's head.

"All of these pictures of Sanzo makes him look stupid," Goku said, still oblivious to the feet next to his head.

"I have to agree with you monkey," Gojyo nodded his head in agreement. He too didn't notice Sanzo's presence.

"Uh…" Hakkai paused as he saw the warning glare sent to him bye Sanzo.

"Now we gotta lift our drawings in the air so we can get a better view," Goku squealed as he held three drawings into the air. Because of this, Sanzo got a full shot view of what was been drawing, and trust the authoress as she writes this, he didn't like it one bit

He saw three pictures in total, all of them face shots of him. One of them had big, anime eyes and were sparkling like there was no tomorrow. The next one had medium length eyes with huge eyelashes and weird looking. Very similar to Gojyo's. The third one, the disgusting one, they weren't drooping for once, it was the one that sent Sanzo into a rage, it had practically no eyes. If he wasn't mistaken, they were Chin Yisou eyes! Making eyes like that bug-loving pervert placed upon his face was a sin. It wouldn't be tolerated.

Sanzo readied is gun. Hakkai, being to only one aware of Sanzo presence, took the opportune moment to get out of the way.

"I bet Sanzo would hate us for life if we show him this," Gojyo chuckled, his cigarette shaking in his mouth. _Damn straight_, Sanzo thought.

"I know. So we better burn them." Goku gathered up the mess. He turned around and his face landed right into Sanzo's stomach. He let out a yelp causing Gojyo to turn and face him to see Sanzo too.

"Oh shit," Gojyo said.

"Yes. Oh shit." With that said by Sanzo, he went into a rage and began shooting and whacking Goku and Gojyo with his fan. Hakkai also took that opportune moment to depart into his room. The other residence of the inn all hid as they heard yelling, pleading, gun shots, hard slaps, running and I'm guessing you know what other things were happening.

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Read and review please!


	5. Vanilla

Just Some Random Saiyuki Thoughts

**Just Some Random Saiyuki Thoughts**

_Vanilla_

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki. It belongs to Minekura Kazuya.

A/N: This is in Gojyo's POV and the italics don't mean anything special.

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_I miss you lovely Vanilla. You are on my mind everyday no matter what others thought about you and me together._

For those of you who are wondering as too who I'm referring too. Let me explain how out relationship had to be broken because of a misunderstanding.

_Terrible._

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Like every other day, we, the Sanzo-ikkou, were doing out normal routine: Drive for a while, find a town, find a restaurant to eat, get a room to stay in later, sleep after making much noise and disturbance for the other residences and then set off into the west in the morning. Normal, huh?

The thing that I hated most about this day was that it was fucking hot. The heat's a wonderful extra requirement when you feel like having sweaty, yet passionate, sex, but _not _when you are traveling in a jeep with a mom, a monkey and a girly priest, that happen to be all males. Because of them, I haven't seen or touched a chick for a while.

Hitting on them and touching is different by the way. Only true perverts will understand. So no questioning me.

We arrived in a decent restaurant with decent women, but none seemed to be really my type. Hakuryu turned into his little dragon form and sat upon Hakkai's shoulder to rest. I was so envious of that dumb dragon having somewhere to relax, with shade from Hakkai's big head, while I had to walk in this repulsive weather!

_Little prick._

We dragged our lazy asses to the restaurant that didn't have air conditioner. It was terrible, but it was too hot for us to take the time to look for another, and Hakuryu wasn't going to transform and let us drive him. So searching was out of the picture. We just settled to this lame place to eat till our hearts' content. At least for Goku and me. Sanzo doesn't believe in eating and Hakkai just nibbles on his food. I don't see how they can survive like that. That's like me surviving without a girl in sight.

_Terrible._

When the food arrived, Goku was being his usually hyper self and practically attacking the food so he can eat it. He acted as though they were going to fight back or run away. In this heat. I don't think so.

Something like that is not good for my complexion and sanity.

As for me, I ordered some icy ice cream. I was too drenched in sweat to attempt fighting for food. Even eating for that matter, so I just settled down to the cooling wonders of ice cream.

Ah, yes. The wonders that ice cream can do to cool of a person's body.

God dammit, seeing that damn monkey all hyper made me feel hot. Not hot sexually, of course. Nothing sexual can be freed from seeing that monkey.

I'm taking a cold shower as soon as I get to my room that I pray that I don't have to share with Goku. How the hell does he take it?

At least Hakkai and Sanzo weren't do things to make me feel this excruciating heat. I think… They better not be.

I turned my face straight ahead so I was facing the wall, but my eyes looking to the side to see Hakkai and Sanzo. I can't have them catching me staring at them. They may take it wrong.

Hakkai was placing a wet rag on Hakuryu to cool off the steaming dragon. That's what that bastardly dragon gets for not walking and thinking he has the right to place himself on Hakkai's shoulders, thus making me envious. Damn, now seeing that wet rag being placed on him made me envious again.

_Little prick. Again!_

I feel a sudden high sense of immaturity from envying that dragon. Not good.

Well, I'm done with Hakkai; now for Sanzo. Let's see what that highly priest is doing. I'm turned to look at that filthy priest and to my amazement; he wasn't smoking and reading that paper. He was just… sitting there. Not much amusement in watching him. I wasn't overheating from watching him. I'm grateful for something done by him.

The world is truly coming to an end.

Ah, screw them and whatever they're doing. Back to filling my desires with this superb ice cream.

Yes, I licked the quickly melting ice cream off of the spoon so it won't trickle onto my dainty fingers and making them sticky. If a droplet where to fall on them, they would instantly dry and bond with my fingers like there was no end.

I closed my eyes gratifyingly from the immense cold that ravaged my tongue. I sucked and licked on the vanilla-flavored spoon. Flavors of the vanilla ice cream and metal overflowed my mouth. A delightful moan escaped my lips.

Thoughts of this ice cream and I being together forever as a couple consumed my mind.

My eyeballs rolled back in pleasure as I scooped more of this delicious treat into my mouth. Each lick, each sniff made me crave more and more of it.

I leaned forward and placed my elbows on the table. One hand was on my spoon. The other, on the bowl of vanilla.

"Mm…" was the only word/sound that could be spoken by me at the moment. I was being too attentive with this leisure candy, that all of my surroundings were blanked out. My eyes were closed through this entire process.

Yes, I was that much into it.

_What of it? _

I didn't give a damn about anything right now except the relationship of Vanilla and I. Yes, I named my vanilla ice cream, Vanilla. So I shall repeat myself once again.

_What of it?_

I licked and moaned more until I heard a frightened, "Eep," coming from Goku. I heard that since it was unusual for me to hear that before Sanzo yelled; it was most commonly used afterwards.

"Um … Goku … why don't you go upstairs and into your room?" asked Hakkai. I turned curiously over to them to see his eyes widened with shock, his mouth gapped with fear.

"…" Goku mustn't have been able to process a response. I'm not surprised. He must have figured out how greedy he was or something. I was curious as to what traumatized him. Oh well, I'll ask Hakkai later.

"I'll take that as a yes. Uh … I'll see you guys in the morning. Come, Hakuryu." With that said, they left. I assumed they would be sharing a room. Damn, left with the priest.

_Baldie prick._

I turned back to my ice cream, but along the way, I saw the other customers staring at me. One fourth was in Goku state will the other three fourth had lustful eyes. Their lust level was beyond the meter. Beyond my own, which I didn't even know was possible.

"Um … hi?" I didn't know how to respond to a situation like this. I mean, I knew I was on sexy fellow, but I didn't realize that people had the courage to express their cravings for me.

They made me the king of perverts, the ass.

I had the spoon still hanging in my mouth, so my lips were shiny and had specks of Vanilla stained on to them.

"Gojyo," Sanzo finally spoke after getting over his phase of staring in disgust and irritation. "I knew you were a perverted, horny and unattractive kappa that's desperate for sex, but I didn't know you would stoop so low as to having sex with your ice cream."

I blinked three times, and then slowly dropped the spoon from my mouth. I was shocked. These people take my enjoyment the wrong way.

I have no need to ask Hakkai what's wrong with Goku now.

"… Fuck. You."

_How rude._

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Thus ending my relationship with Vanilla.

I'll miss that gal.

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Such a terrible way to end a relationship, huh? Poor Gojyo.

As I was typing this, it was flowing a little too easily for me when it was in Gojyo's perspective. Um … I think that's a bad sigh. I can relate to a pervert. Wow. That's great to know.

Well, thanks to everyone who reviews. :D


	6. Dream Jobs

Just Some Random Saiyuki Thoughts

Just Some Random Saiyuki Thoughts

Dream Jobs

Disclaimer: This belongs to Minekura Kazuya. Not a bored person.

A/N: I made them all the same age, just a few months separate, but Sanzo is still the oldest and Goku is still the youngest, and so on and so forth.

Sanzo's real name is Kouryuu and Hakkai's is Gonou,so I thought it would make more sense to call them by his real name since they are children.

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"You dumb, little monkey! Give me my cookie back!" yelled a crimson-haired boy named Gojyo.

"My cookie! Mine! Mine! Mine!" bawled the little brunette, Goku, defensively.

"Now, now, children. Why don't you just break it and half and share?" suggested another brunette with glasses named Gonou.

"Dummies don't like sharing," snorted a blonde-haired boy called Kouryuu.

"What did you say, droopy eyes!" this time the crimson-haired boy was shouting at the blonde.

"Don't talk about him!" roared the little brunette.

"Children! Don't speak so rudely and settle down and eat your lunch!" the teacher said as she grabbed the three from attacking each other and settled them in chairs. Chairs far away from the other petrified children.

They seated themselves and continued eating their lunch. The cookie was taken by the teacher much to Goku's and Gojyo's disappointment.

"Stop looking at the teacher's booty," Kouryuu said utterly disgusted at his tactics.

"Ew. Gojyo's nasty. Nasty!" Goku ran to Gonou for safety.

"Psh. I like girls. They can share their cooties with me." Gojyo winked at the other ladies in the classroom as they swooned, blushed, became terrified, or completely ignored him for they too believed he was an idiot.

Well, to keep this short, let's say they didn't believe in eating in peace. There was yelling, anger, violence and a teacher calming them down for three minutes. Then, it would happen all over again.

Finally, lunch came to end and class began. Thankfully, the four children didn't sit next to each other, or at the same table, but they didn't sit at a far enough distance that they couldn't easily shout at each other or pass notes across the room. Yeah, teachers never seem to pay attention to this detail.

"Okay, class. Today I will be asking you what job you wish to have in the future. Like, what do you want to be when you grow up? Foe example, I'm a teacher, and I'm sure your mommies and daddies have jobs too. So what would you like to be?" She grinned cheerfully at each of the students.

All of them sat in silence as they put their ideas of a job into deliberation. After five minutes, the teacher decided to choose each student one at a time to say what they plan to be.

Starting first was a boy named Li Touten stood and spoke, "I plan to be God," he said with a menacing snarl. The rest of the class burst into fits of laughter while the teacher face turned red as she held in a giggle.

Li Touten didn't seem to find this humorous and exclaimed many things he would do to them once his day came.

"Hehe, Li, sit down please. And I … wish you luck … kch … on that … un … dream," the teacher could hardly speak. "Next is Kimoki. What would you like to be?"

"I want to be a writer!" she squealed gleefully.

"And what do writers do, Kimoki?" the teacher asked the happy little get sweetly. Internally, she hoped the girl actually knew so she wouldn't have to deal with more laughing.

"They write. Duh." Gojyo rolled his eyes as though that was the most obvious thing in the world … which it was, but that was not the point. Gonou -- who was seated across from him -- sighed at him saying stupid things, even if they were true...

"Gojyo!" the teacher's voice was sharp and held no signs of patience or kindness.

The students scurried back in fright. They had never seen the benevolent, pleasant and tolerant teacher act like this. He chose a bad day to annoy the teacher. She must be on her menstrual cycle.

She noted how terrified and traumatized her students look. She needed a cover up-- something to make them get over her little … outburst. Ah, of course, call a student. A student who didn't seem scared.

"Next, Billy, what would you like to be?" The boy was so surprised by how quickly she converted back to her nice side that he couldn't speak. The teacher must have observed this since she turned to Kouryuu, who seemed unaffected by it, and asked him the same question.

"I don't know," he said with a minor nonchalant slur.

"Oh, come on. I'm pretty sure you have something in mind," truth was held in her words.

"Ugh. A Sanzo then," he spoke as though it was no big deal. Gonou, Gojyo, Goku, heck, the whole _class_ thought otherwise since they stared in shock at the idea of Kouryuu ever becoming a Sanzo. It didn't seem possible.

Choked laughter could be heard around the room. No one dared mock Kouryuu for they knew that immense pain would be coming their way.

All sorts of snorts and giggles could be heard, and Kouryuu wasn't taking it lightly. Well, only one person wasn't laughing.

"C'mon! Kouryuu would make a good Sanzo. He is … nice and stuff. He cares and stuff. He is like the teacher!" Goku praised Kouryuu dearly as he faced him. With that said, no one could hold it. The classroom, once again, burst into hoots.

"Children these days," Sanzo rolled his eyes and chewed on his pencil then tossed it at Goku's head as a sign to shut up.

The class calmed down as they got over their teacher being pissed and continued telling their dream careers.

Some said a doctor, some said an astronaut, and some said a firefighter. You know the many cliché job that every child wants until they realize how much work they have to do, how expensive it is or how life threatening it really is. Then, they choose to work at McDonalds instead.

Yes, let their hopes climb high into the heavens until it comes crashing down like a rock. A rock representing reality that smashes the dreams in their head into many pieces.

Isn't life harsh?

"What would you like to be, Gonou?" The teacher smiled at little Gonou.

He blankly at the teacher for a few moments then spoke, "A teacher, I guess."

No student thought 'teachers pet,' or 'you little show off,' since it wasn't hard for anyone to believe. He was the smartest, calmest and the one who tamed the young ones in the class. Even the teacher didn't seem fazed. This was a job that Gonou seemed capable of doing unlike the other students.

"I hope your dream comes true," the teacher replied.

"Thank you," his politeness voice said.

"What about you, Goku?" she turned to face the bored, drooling student.

He lifted his saliva covered cheek off the desk and looked at her. His stomach growled incredibly louder than usually, scaring many people. Even the classrooms next door heard it. Okay, they may be exaggerating a bit, but it's possible.

"Um, I do not know-- I mean, I am not sure," Goku sheepishly smiled cutely at her while rubbing his head. He wasn't even thinking about this subject in the first place. Oh well, the teacher wouldn't mind, she couldn't resist his cuteness.

"I hope in due time you do," she responded.

"He just doesn't know how to think," Gojyo snorted.

The students' held their breath's as the expected another outburst from the teacher. Instead she just asked Gojyo what he wanted to be; surprising everyone.

"Ah. I know exactly what that is," Gojyo tossed his hair like a superstar and stood on top of his table as he posed flirtatiously. "I want to be a stripper!"

And then he winked.

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I need to get off Gojyo now. Even though he is my favorite character (like anyone hasn't figured that out yet) I do need to type about the others. I'm working on the Goku one; I just need a sudden inspiration. Most of them come from chatting with people. I don't know why.

In case anyone was wondering, this inspiration came from watching that show on VH1 were they are looking for male models I was into that show and it just seemed to make me think of something Gojyo would do.

Read and review my lovelies. :D


	7. Where

**Just Some Random Saiyuki**

_Where_

**Disclaimer**: I don't own this wonderful anime and manga by Minekura Kazuya. Well, the manga was wonderful, the anime is terrible in comparison yet I keep watching it…

Also, this takes place **before **the Sanzo-ikkou traveled west.

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Today, out little water sprite was napping in his most favorite chair. Despite the fact that it was one of those nice days where a nap came in handy, it wasn't what he suppose to do. Oh, no, this kappa was suppose to be doing what Hakkai told him to do-- what Hakkai tells him all the time to do actually.

Take out the garbage.

That's right. The garbage. He never failed to forget such a simple task and his deep sleep was very effective. So effective that every time the obnoxiously loud garbage came around to their house to pick up the garbage can that was never there, Gojyo miraculously slept through it. How he could possibly do that was beyond logic but he did it. It must be some kind of special ability.

Gojyo awoke and stretched like a kitten and released a huge sigh of breath. You looked at the clock and noted that Hakkai should be coming back in about thirty minutes with groceries. How he hated putting away groceries. Going back to dream land may make Hakkai consider doing it himself and letting him sleep. Maybe.

The instant he laid down he remembered the damn garbage.

"Crap!"

He ran all the way to the garbage bin and placed it in front of his home. _Mission accomplished! _he thought. An awarded of accomplishment was needed for such a glorious moment, but to make sure he made it on time, he checked his neighbors garbage bins. If they weren't empty then that would mean he took the garbage out on time.

It turns out he didn't.

Gojyo laughed in annoyance. "Aren't I lucky?" he asked no one in particular.

He contemplated the moment of desperation. _Where to put this? Where to put this? _That was the only phrase that raced through his mind.

Then it hit him like an arrow piercing through his skull.

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"Stupid monkey!" Sanzo fiercely yelled and continuously whacked his fan against Goku's hard head.

"Ah! Ow! Sanzo! Why are you hitting me?" he hollered innocently.

Sanzo ignored him and just cursed and hit him to no end.

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"Amazing, Gojyo. You really did take out the garbage." Hakkai smiled at Gojyo as he told him his observation.

Gojyo jumped a little from hearing Hakkai's voice, but relaxed in time to reply.

Next he offered to assist him with the groceries, and how much he regretted it.

Afterwards, Hakkai turned Gojyo, looked up as if he was hard in thought and said, "If seems as though you and Goku have switched roles when it comes to taking out the garbage."

Gojyo's eyes shifted from side to side but he quickly covered this with a sudden act of a shocked expression, then he reverted back to a calm one with signs of curiosity. Oh, yeah-- who's the master?

"It seems as though he forgot to take out the garbage since the bin was full. He claimed to have taken it out and even seen the truck empty it. I wonder how that could've happened…" Hakkai trailed off as he gave Gojyo a devious comprehension look that meant he knew of the situation.

Gojyo grinned cunning like a fox. "Sanzo gave him one hell of a beating I bet. How dare he be so forgetful. I should definitely be his admirable figure in life."

Hakkai laughed at such a thought. "Then that would mean he would dump his trash in our empty can and then I'll have to beat you with a fan."

The perverted kappa grinned. "If you were a woman, I'd ask where."

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Moonlight: I swear I have this weird obsession with Gojyo; I couldn't even think of a decent Goku fic and I needed to update. Strangely, this idea came to me while sleeping in the shower…. Yes, I sleep in the shower in the morning. Who doesn't?

Thank you loyal reviewers every so much. Reviews make me happy, and suggestions for writing improvement is loved as well. Oh, and I would also like to thank L'ArcenCiel and Pierrot for making such wonderful Cds and not Hideyuki Kikuchi from writing the great book Vampire Hunter D since I got distracted by it constantly. It really wasn't helping me inspiration wise.

As for the title 'Where' you can assume whatever 'where' in the story you want it to be and not in the way Gojyo is thinking, perverts. I know it's uncreative, I couldn't think of anything. Leave me alone.

Read and review!


	8. Child

**Just Some Random Saiyuki **

Child

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, dammit.

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"Oh, yeah! I own in this game. No one can beat you. Take that, and that!" exclaimed a thrilled monkey confidently as he endlessly shouted various phrases showing signs of observable winnings.

Here he was, Goku, playing a video game that brought him such overwhelming joy that Sanzo (who was a couple of doors down) heard every word he hollered clearly. Of course Goku didn't seem to know this aspect he had and decided it was time to relentlessly go all out in the game.

By "all out" he finally arrived at a strong, powerful and large boss in the game. Seeing this in the monkey's point of view, this would be seen as another challenger who showed signs of being eligible enough to face him. So Goku figured insults, taunts and constant jumping would anger the boss and make him show his true power.

Yes, he was definitely mixing a game with reality.

'_Do you think you can defeat me, foo1!' _roared Goku's nemesis.

"Hell yes I can take you!" he screamed at the television once again.

Goku continued to yell more taunts and angered Sanzo-- and most likely the other priest as well-- by the second.

He just stayed seated in his chair and continued stamping the worthless papers he never bothered to read. In all due time, Goku will probably not even beat the guy and just turn off the game thus, finally, becoming silent. Perfect plan.

Five minutes later Goku was silent. It turned out Sanzo's prediction was accurate. Meaning he knew more about his pet then he wished. Great.

Sanzo, being the vengeful kind of guy he is, walked done the hall and into the room where Goku was playing his game at. He looked down at Goku to see him glaring at the console and pure hatred. "Did you lose?" he mockingly asked.

Goku looked up with an upset look. "No! It's just that idiot in the game called me a child. That's so not cool."

Sanzo wasn't at all shocked. "… well, that's absolutely understandable. You're playing Pokemon."

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This one is based on what I did… I was playing Pokemon XD at Toy's R Us when I was going Christmas shopping, and some guys was like, "You can't go in there, you're a child," or something like that. And, so I was like, "Oh, no you just didn't call me a child!" and I refused to play the game.

Read and review please. :D


	9. Splat, Went The Rain

Just Some Random Saiyuki

**Just Some Random Saiyuki **

_Splat, went the rain._

Disclaimer: I still haven't bought Saiyuki. 

Hakkai peered through the window; watching the rain drops splatter against the window sill. No, the rain did not remind him of tears, the played out metaphor. The splattering of the rain reminded him, oh so much, of the splattering of the blood of his victims. Not just the victims of his past that had to face his sanity going out of control for his love, but also the blood of everyone who was slaughtered by his tainted hands. The hands she loved no more.

_Splat, splat, splat. _Went the rain.

Hakkai felt saddened a bit as he reminisced. Not only was the rain the reminding him of the day she died. Not only did it remind him the day he murdered. Not only did it remind him the day he changed. It reminded him the day he began to loath. It reminded him the day he violated God. It reminded him the day he will start living through a sin.

_Splat, splat, splat. _Went the rain of his victims.

_Splat, splat, splat. _Went the rain of his tears. Stupid metaphor.

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This has to be the darkest fic I have ever written and I don't really like it. Review please!


	10. One of Those Days

Newspaper of worldly crap

**Just Some Random Saiyuki**

One of Those Days

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki, m'kay?

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Newspaper of worldly crap? Check.

Daily nicotine? Check.

Easing tea? Check.

Reading glasses? Check.

Everything was in order and yet Sanzo felt something was missing. The weather was just the way he liked it—he wasn't sweating his ass off, nor was he experiencing what it's like to live in Antarctica. The lighting was just right—the sun was not shining its rays of hell in his eyes or paper, nor was it getting mobbed by dark clouds of doom.

Sanzo simply chose to ignore his uneasy feeling and proceeded to continue reading his newspaper, puffing on his cancer stick and occasionally sipping tea. The world was just the way he liked it everyday but why not today of all days wasn't it?

He began tapping his foot rhythmically to distract himself and help him focus on his comfort zone.

That definitely didn't work.

Next he tried to just focus all of his attention on the distinct flavor of Marlboro and the way the certain article he was reading was written.

That, too, helped in no way.

He sighed in defeat and decided today was just one of days. He'll figure out what his damned body really wanted probably later on in the day.

Sanzo folded his newspaper in a perfect square and rose from his chair, but was stopped midway by an obnoxious "Sanzo!" and the door being pushed open with a strong force that made it bang against the wall and possibly cracked it.

"You damned monkey! Get back here!" Gojyo furiously yelled from some distance away.

Goku shrieked and ran behind Sanzo. "Sanzo, help me!"

"I found you and now I'm going to beat you senseless." The villainous cockroach smirked and quickly stampeded over to his prey. Just as he was moments away, a white fan slammed down on his head and stopped him in his tracks. Next the white contraption of hell hit the monkey.

"What was that for?" They cried in unison through tears.

"Take your pointless squabbles somewhere else!"

"… Squabbles?" Goku repeated confused on why anyone would use that word.

"Only old people use that word," Gojyo snickered.

Sanzo once again smacked them with his fan and made them scurry out of his room.

"Tch," he took out a cigarette and got back to what he was doing. He felt comfortable this time as he read as if a heavy pile labeled 'stress' had been lifted off of him and he soon realized why.

_Those two…?_ he thought. He ducked his head and covered his eyes with his bangs as he smiled softly.

Today was just one of those days.

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So, yeah, Sanzo… surprisingly, this was much easier than I thought and I had much fun writing this. Everyone knows Sanzo secretly appreciates Gojyo's and Goku's arguments!

Review and make me happy, please!


	11. Problem Free

Problem Free

Sanzo loved the satisfying sound of the stamp making contact with the papers. As much as he hated paperwork, he loved the stamping process. The tedious dullness of stamping can often be nerve wrecking to ones mind and sanity, Sanzo was definitely not an exception, but when Sanzo was pissed off and annoyed to his limit, stamping was his savior.

He felt an intense satisfaction and relief when banging the holy stamp onto documents. Each stamp was each of his problems taking the form of ink and transferring to paper. Hell, the paperwork itself was a problem; it was a two for one situation!

The more pissed off he was, the harder he stamped. Often times, he banged onto the papers so hard, the ink would leak onto other parchments. Like he gave a fuck. Despite how kinky and Gojyo-like the statement may sound: the rougher the better.

There was a strange ambivalence to how stupid yet beautiful this form of stress relief was. It was so simple, he didn't have to hassle with some sort of weird stress relief mechanism or ritual; he just did his job. Another two for one situation.

Loads of paperwork? Stamp.

Annoying people? Stamp.

Lack of sleep? Stamp. Maybe even a smoke too.

"Saaaaanzoooo!" Goku's voice and body barged into the room, barged into Sanzo's peace, barged in as a new problem. Goku froze in mid-jump and looked up at his forehead.

Stamp.

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I haven't updated in years, but I found this old sheet of paper with ideas and I really wanted to give some of them a try. I noticed I did this checklist sort of behavior with Sanzo twice now, the first on the previous fic. Ah, how repetitive. I'm ashamed.

Read and review!


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